His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
