All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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