she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
