We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
