somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
