Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize