do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
