Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
