Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
