True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
