let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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