physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
