I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
