you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
