I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
