at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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