I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
