Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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