Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Randomize
