I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish you could order shots online.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
