Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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