My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
