Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
