Your dad touched me again.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
