I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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