So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
