Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
