Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
