Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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