actually, I'm a sock model
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
