i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
