Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
