turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Randomize
