If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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