I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
