omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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