Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize