My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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