All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
send nudes
from the living room?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
