And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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