Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
