hotel room ftw
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I could make wine with my vomit
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
