Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
