This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
