nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
