just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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