We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
