so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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