remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
