I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
