The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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