I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
FUCK WHALES
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
