the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
