if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize