After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
