I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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