Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
