Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So many bounce houses so little time
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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