Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
